I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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