i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
