Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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