Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
