I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
