you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize