I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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