You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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