so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
