I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she looked like the before picture.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
