let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
