i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
