the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
