If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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