I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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