youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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