On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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