I like to think it a success when the cops are called
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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