I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize