can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
