Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
