I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
