I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
