You smell like stripper and shame
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
