I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
