Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
