i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
