this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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