He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
