yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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