thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
