"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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