I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
