He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
