Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
