Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
