And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize