Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We need a shit load of segways right now
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
