apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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