i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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