So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
