well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
