I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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