So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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