What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If I die, sorry about rent.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
