I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
try to milk me bitch
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
