Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
