Quick, to the slutcave!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He shit in the fireplace
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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