This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
