new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
