are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
