Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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