Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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