Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
bring money and cleavage
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
