I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
