just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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