so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
