forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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