You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
