you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize