So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
