no one should ever give us hovercrafts
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
