One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
